As soon as a practitioner walks on the path of cultivation, his first trial is often to eliminate the attachment to lust. In the past ways of cultivation, such as in Buddhism and Daoism, they treated the issue of lust very seriously. The first test was the issue of lust, which is to get rid of ordinary people's lust. If the practitioner couldn't pass the first test, then he would have difficulty in walking the subsequent cultivation path any further. Because neither Gods nor Buddhas have lust like a human being does, human beings cannot cultivate into those divine beings while being attached to lust. Therefore, at a high level, this issue is treated very seriously. Those evil beings who attempt to undermine Falun Dafa also try to take advantage of the loopholes that practitioners have, and try to tempt Falun Dafa practitioners, causing them to fall.
I want to share with you my experience and some of my understandings in this regard. Due to my limited level, fellow practitioners please point out where I fall short.
When I was a primary school student, I always thought that those noble people or people who are quite cultivated should be pure, and they shouldn't have any human desires. However, when I attended junior high school, my parents didn't get along with each other. My dad was a hot-tempered person, and he liked to quarrel with others, so our family lacked happiness. I always fought with my dad, and then I started going out with someone at an early age. Before I started practising Falun Gong, I always had tribulations in my love life. I suffered a lot emotionally and went through a lot of hardships. Maybe what I went through was also a process of cultivation through interference, which helped me to eliminate qing (sentiment/emotion/desire) and lust.
I didn't start practising Falun Gong until September 1998. Because I started my cultivation in Falun Dafa rather late, I greatly cherished the Falun Gong teachings - Fa and was quite diligent. In the beginning, I had a lot of difficulty in breaking through the trial of lust. It also happened in my dreams, and I always failed. After I woke up, I was very regretful. I truly felt ashamed of myself. I thought to myself, 'I will definitely maintain my character the next time,' and I recited over and over Teacher's words from Zhuan Falun: "When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible." The second time, the same thing appeared in my dream. I still couldn't pass this test. After I woke up, I was very regretful again. I made up my mind that I would definitely pass the test the next time. So sometimes I failed the test, and sometimes I passed the test. I kept encouraging myself to persist, and eventually I made it through this trial.
After July 20th, 1999, due to my persistence in practising Falun Gong, my dad swore at me and beat me up. He even said to my elder sister that he would break my leg to stop me from going to school.as I was a Ph.D candidate. At that point, I thought: "I might as well get married, so he couldn't tell me what to do anymore." My current boyfriend and I were classmates. He cared a lot about me, and he showed a fairly good understanding towards Falun Dafa, so I didn't mind going out with him. One time, he refused to participate in a meeting to criticise Falun Gong. A fellow practitioner from his department was about to be criticised at the meeting, and he refused to speak. That really touched me, so I was willing to spend more time with him.
My boyfriend got to know about Falun Dafa back in 1994, but he couldn't pass the trial of lust, so he stopped practising. When we were dating, due to my limited understanding of the Falun Gong teachings, I didn't hold myself to high standards. After he pushed me a few times, we started living together before we got married. Every time we had sex I was very regretful, but at the same time, I forgave myself, thinking that we would get married eventually. Now thinking back, I am so regretful that I wasn't strict enough with myself. I treated myself as an ordinary person, doing the bad things that cultivators should not do. Thinking back, the tribulations that a Falun Dafa practitioner experiences don't happen without a reason. In 2001, due to handing out materials that exposed the persecution, I was arrested and then I was illegally detained for six months, which brought tremendous pressure and pain to my family. Now looking within, on the surface it was as if I was arrested due to handing out materials. Fundamentally, it was my desire of lust that was not eliminated, so I was taken advantage of by the evil old forces and subjected to persecution.
After this very serious persecution, my mind became clear, and I looked at issues with more rationality, especially the issue of lust. I became calmer and very strict with my conduct. My husband had a strong desire of lust, and he couldn't sleep well. His desire of lust because a huge obstacle in my path of cultivation. As we keep making breakthroughs towards higher levels in our cultivation, our bodies become purer and purer. However, our life in ordinary human society needs to be maintained as well, so we should play our roles among ordinary people well, in order to leave future generations a correct path.
When his desire of lust arose, even though I didn't want to cooperate with him in my heart, I felt reluctant to refuse him, so I started sending forth righteous thoughts. I asked Teacher to strengthen me, in order to eliminate the demon and desire of lust behind him. Sometimes, in the evening, at the time when he was accompanying our child to go to bed, I also sent forth righteous thoughts. In this way I was able to continue to eliminate the demon of lust behind him. Six months later, one time Teacher showed me through a dream that his desire of lust had been eliminated by half. Indeed, his desire of lust is not as serious as before.
In mid-March, some tinea developed on his buttocks, and it was like a kind of skin disease. He developed a big flake of tinea. Even when he applied medicine, it didn't heal or go away. I understood that Teacher was cleaning up his body. Later, gradually his situation became much better. Afterwards, I tried to talk him into doing the exercises. He didn't oppose that, but he couldn't keep it up. I always do the standing exercises everyday at noon, since I seldom take a nap. Seeing this, he was touched, so he decided to do the exercises with me. Every evening, when we do the exercises, he is very diligent. By listening to pure and peaceful music, many of his bad notions were cleaned up. In addition, after finishing the exercises, he falls asleep easily and without any desire of lust. Sometimes, when he has that desire, I would remind him, ask him to maintain his character so as to break though this trial. Now we seldom have that kind of behaviour that ordinary people have. In its place is the purer understanding and harmony between the two of us. This is truly an example of "The Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities."
The reason why I share all this with fellow practitioners is to bring the issue of lust to everyone's attention, and at the same time, to say that we should send forth righteous thoughts intensively to eliminate the demon of lust. Because these demons of lust not only interfere with the cultivation of Falun Dafa practitioners, they also harm people in the world, resulting in the deterioration of morality in human society. We should eliminate the demon of lust instead of indulging it.
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