I Long for Freedom

When my two older sisters and I were arrested and sent to a detention centre, harshly punished, beaten, and forced to do hard labour, our father's hair turned grey overnight. When one of my older sisters, who was persecuted to the verge of death, was again arrested, our mother cried and shouted bitterly. She attempted to lie under the wheels of a car to stop her daughter's persecution. When the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) stretched its tentacles out to go after me, my husband was haunted.

I couldn't return home to continue operating my business. When my seven-year-old son learned that the police were coming to arrest me, he shouted in horror, "Mama, run! Hurry up! My teacher was arrested by them. Don't let them catch you!" When I saw that fellow practitioners were being arrested, beaten, tortured to insanity, sentenced to jail, and persecuted to death, I felt suffocated and sad. Because of the CCP's brutal persecution of Falun Gong practitioners, I was deprived of freedom of belief, speech, petition--all basic human rights. In order to escape arrest, I was forced to live a homeless life.

I started practising Falun Gong in 1996, and thanks to Falun Gong's profound teachings, I have come to understand many things that I had never learned in books, even though I had just graduated from school. Falun Gong has given me a healthy body and mind. Because I wanted to let everyone know about the goodness of Falun Gong, I became an assistant at a local practice site. On July 20th, 1999, the CCP started suppressing Falun Gong. In order to safeguard the reputation of Falun Gong, my fellow practitioners and I went to Beijing to appeal three times.

In September 1999, I was deceived by Huang, a police officer, into going to a local police station. Two policemen, one who had the surname Zhang, took me directly to a County Public Security Bureau for interrogation without telling me why. The chief of the political and security department threatened me, saying, "Tell me why you went to Beijing and how you got there!" Without any legal procedures, I was charged with "disturbing social order" and sent to a detention centre in Liaoyang City.

I was forced to do hard labour every day, and if I didn't finish my work on time, the guards deprived me of sleep. Only a small amount of hard rice noodles, which were cooked without any oil, was provided, and I saw insects floating in the muddy vegetable soup. I was both verbally abused and beaten by the instructor at the detention centre. My two older sisters were also arrested in Beijing and sent to a detention centre. I was detained for thirty days. After the police extorted 2,000 yuan¹ from me, I was released.

In October 1999, I went back to work for the first time after being released. My supervisors, under the instigation of the 610 Office², forced a fellow practitioner and me to watch television programmes that slandered Falun Gong. They also sent a "special team" who worked together in an attempt to "transform³" me. They tried to force me into denouncing my belief. They also sent a "special team" to monitor my speech and behaviour at my house, lest I would go to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong again. The guards would be fired if they failed to stop me. Because I didn't give up the practice, I was deprived of the right to work. The police repeatedly harassed and intimidated me. They recorded my fingerprints and personal details on a blacklist, so that they could arrest me whenever they wanted. They deprived me of all of my rights. In order to prevent being arrested by CCP officials, my fiancé and I were forced to flee our home and live a homeless life.

One day in September 2000, as my husband and I were selling shoes in the Wenzhou Shopping Mall in Gongzhuling City, Jilin Province, my mother called me and said, "Liu, the person from your workplace, and a group of police came here to arrest you. They forced me to tell them your whereabouts. You must get out of there right away!" At that time, I was six months pregnant. I thought to myself that I must not let the police hurt me again. I left the shopping mall immediately. My husband told me later that, "Liu and the police were searching for you all over the building. When they didn't find you in the mall, they went to your brother's cosmetics shop in Lingxi City and harassed and intimidated him." The CCP officials not only persecuted me, but also implicated my family. My husband was afraid that they would arrest me. Later, my husband was relocated with his work to Changchun City. For our child and my safety, we were forced to move along with him to the city.

In 2006, with the help of practitioner Ms. Lanlan, I started a snack bar business in Changchun City. Because my husband worked out-of-town in a distant construction field, I had no one to take care of my child, so I sent him to fellow practitioner Haiyan's kindergarten. Because of the CCP's persecution, most children in this kindergarten were not taken care of by their parents. Using my business, I hired practitioners to work for me. I provided them with shelter and helped them establish their own businesses. We formed a chain of stores.

Later, Ms. Lanlan's home phone was tapped by police, and in just one day, her home was ransacked two times. Because of our close contact, my phone was also tapped. The teacher of my son's kindergarten was also recently arrested. When I went to the kindergarten, I found that police had installed a control monitor. I was seriously worried about my situation. I had no choice but to leave the running of my business to my relatives.

In late 2007, soon after that practitioner who had close contact with me was arrested, the police from my local police station came to my shop to arrest me. Because they couldn't arrest me, they took my relative Wang Yan to their car and interrogated her, saying, "Where's your boss? What's her phone number? When will she come back?" Even after being forced live a homeless life, the CCP officials still didn't want to spare me. My husband became very anxious when he heard about this. He knew that if I got arrested, I would be in serious trouble. He was put under extreme pressure and pain.

Since the persecution began, I have never felt rest or peace. My relatives and fellow practitioners have been persecuted to the point of mental collapse, sentenced to jail, and beaten to death, and numerous families have been torn apart and decimated. I was physically and mentally exhausted by these bloody scenes. I want to uphold my belief. I want freedom. I cannot die. I must live on!

In December 2007, the moment I decided to leave my house, I didn't dare to look back at my son. I was afraid I would change my mind. I didn't have the courage to say "goodbye" to my husband, because I didn't know whether I would see him again. On the Chinese New Year day, my parents knew I had left. I phoned them the next day, and I only heard my mother's crying. I really missed my family. The CCP's persecution of Falun Gong has created a tremendous amount of pressure and pain for my family. Because I am a target for persecution, my family can't rest and live well. Their only hope is that I am still alive. CCP officials later came to my mother's home and my home and shop to harass them. I don't know how long and far I have to walk this path on which I have no relatives with me and knowing that it is full of danger.

Although I am still alive, I would rather be dead than have the CCP force me to give up my belief in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Over the past nine years, in order to escape the persecution, I have had no choice but to let go of everything I have in this material world. Sadly, my escape has not saved me from being arrested again and jailed.

I have come to a clear understanding of the evil nature of the CCP. I hope that all practitioners who are still detained in jails will soon be released. I hope that all practitioners will be set free from the CCP's persecution. I long for real freedom!

Note

1. "Yuan" is the Chinese currency; 500 yuan is equal to the average monthly income of an urban worker in China.

2. "The 610 office" is an agency specifically created to persecute Falun Gong, with absolute power over each level of administration in the Party and all other political and judiciary systems.

3. "Reform or Transform" Implementation of brainwashing and torture in order to force a practitioner to renounce Falun Gong. (Variations: "reform", "transform", "reformed", "reforming", "transformed", "transforming", and "transformation")

Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2008/12/5/191155.html