Finding the Reason for My Poor Results in My Efforts to Study the Falun Gong Teachings

It is not easy to uncover a fundamental attachment, because the attachment is covered by a variety of human notions. It took me about three years to find my fundamental attachment. Recently, a practitioner shared with me that in the beginning, he hoped to have his father's illnesses healed via Falun Gong. Later, he realized Falun Gong was good, hence, he started to practice. Is the word "good" pure? We originally belong to the old cosmos. Being in the midst of delusion and with notions formed in the Chinese Communist Party (CCP)'s culture, we have few good characters left. Reading was my only passion, because reading helped me go through many frustrations in my life, and at the same time, my knowledge was developed. I came to know Falun Gong when I was depressed. At that time, I considered Zhuan Falun the best book in the world, because I could obtain the "Right Fruit" and be rescued from the abyss of misery.

I want to talk about the word "good." I consider something as being good when it conforms to my own ideas. Teacher has asked us to study the Falun Gong teachings as much as is viable and I did read a lot. There is nothing difficult for me. Recently, some practitioners' attachments have been triggered by a novel. While sharing about this, a practitioner mentioned that even though he wasn't swayed, he was very interested in the articles that talk about the scenes in other dimensions and reincarnation. I found that I was also very enthusiastic about these kinds of articles. I reflected on how I would go to the Clearwisdom website and Pure Insight website on a daily basis. I would read Zhuan Falun only after viewing the web pages.

Yesterday, I missed reading the articles from the websites and so I felt quite bad about this. This morning I searched inside and found that I read the Falun Gong teachings as I read ordinary books. I walked into Falun Dafa to find a mental resting place. I studied the teachings with the pursuit of curiosity and thoughts about my own salvation. My attachment of selfishness was exposed. It was so shameful and formidable to have the attachment of trying to take advantage of Falun Dafa. As Teacher said in On the Novel The Cosmos' Calamity: "...you shouldn't let your heart and mind bob about like duckweed, stirred at the first hint of wind." My mind and body weren't truly rooted in the principles taught in the Falun Gong books.

It's up to us to seek what we want. This is the universe's law. As long as I look inside, I will be given hints to show my attachment. The only thing left is to get rid of it.

I believe that after eliminating this fundamental attachment, I will pay more attention to my study of the Falun Gong teachings and be studious in my efforts. We must be responsible as Falun Gong practitioners in order to carry out our goals.